BORING post

this will be such a BORING post unless you like to hear others writing abt their life.. sometimes when i am busy or not in mood... blogger i visited that its too wordy i will jus skip their post..

so DO skip this post and do not read if you do not have much time NOW..

OR... have better things to do...

here i goes...

I jus feel so tired over life... i got too much things within and refused to voice out.. i hav so much fear and so fearful and doubt in life.. i am sure some other ppl do feel the same.. we always act strong in front of others and point out our strong point to ppl to let them know we are capable.. i can be smiling and even laugh when i m faced with probs.. in order to hid my probs.. as i don't wish to be asked why am i sad... BUT.. some smart ppl do spot it anyway... haha..

i am so afraid to been seen weak... i will only reveal my probs to friends when i am strong again.. when i hav probs i always will face it alone and solve it myself.. to me.. i will feel bare.. lf i open my probs to others.. i think alot of ppl also like tat.. given a gd example will be found in friendster.. most of ppl.. post all their most beautiful side of themselves.. all the ugly and unpleasant stuff will not be seen... is it consider fake? maybe.. yes.. but its jus a survivor skill...

for me.. my close friends and family call me STUBBORN!. i look up into the dictionary.. its define as " not easy to deal with". oh my god.. i think when i m stubborn i am really a horrible person to deal with..agree friend??? lol..

i shld change rite??? but how??

i really don't know how? maybe i can.. jus sit back and relax.. and watch the world goes ard... but i won be what i am today.. i might not be a famous person..or maybe jus a too normal person.. but.. at least i have been able to acheive what i wan even its really tough proccess... and tiring...

and agreeing on what ppl say and following its jus really not my cup of tea.. unless the person its really kinda of sensible and capable person.. for example, they have proven their abilites.. then.. i will try to listen and gain understanding as their success has proven their right....


i feel much better to voice out my bits and pieces of feeling at this little corner of mine..

how i wish i can be not bothered by what ppl say.. and live on my life without thinking the judgement of others.. maybe i am now young and full of energy.. when i am much older.. i will mellow....